Saturday, July 22, 2006

"Nearly" old biddie

In my world, if an event is not live but is "nearly live," this means it will be available on the website not long after it played live in the real world. This wording often irritates the uninformed user aka those who failed to see the small type at the bottom of the page or the asterisk * next to the item before they purchased it.

In a recent conversation with Faythe, I realized we were "nearly" old biddies. In fact, it appears we are only three steps away from receiving our old biddie card in the mail. If you look at the facts, you would agree. We love yarn and yarn accessories. We talk non-stop about things that don't matter. We have cats. We would have more cats if we could. An enjoyable weekend could involve the following: sleep, eat, go for walks, watch tv, surf the net, bid on china on ebay, check out yarn sales, play games like Scrabble, make fun of 'kids these days,' watch 'old' tv shows or videos from the supposed retro 80's or whip up a delicious dish that is also low fat and low calorie.

Upon further discussion we realized the three next steps we need to take to receive our Old Biddie Gold Membership would be:

1) Weekly visits to the beauty parlor
2) Purchase an entire closet full of matching polyester outfits
3) Play games such as Bridge

I was going to add "4) Shake our heads in horror while pointing at the youth of today" but then I realized we already do this.

I've been giving a lot of thought to age these days. While I don't eat like a "grown up" (todays lunch of beef jerky and a diet soda is a testimony) or make "grown up" decisions (did I tell you I bought a Gamecube and a Mario game? Weeeeee, there's going to be a lot of late nights for me now!) this whole adult thing is weighing heavily on my shoulders.

Today I had to use a calculator to figure out my age. *sigh* This in itself made me feel like one of those uninformed users who didn't see the fine print. In fact, where was the fine print? Why wasn't I warned? I want a refund! Or at least a do-over.


Fish pictured above is on my desk at work, "Bite Size Brian," next to his latest threat, fake bonsai with flowers. BIB is totally unconcerned with age.

3 comments:

Faythe said...

The first one should be amended to "Weekly visits to the beauty parlor to get our short hair permed to oblivion."

Because for reasons unknown, all old biddies cut their hair really short and get perms.

Oh wait, and buying ugly walking/orthopedic shoes with velcro. That should be #5

katrina said...

Today I had to use a calculator to figure out my age. *sigh*

LOLOLOLOL! Been there, I always forget how old I'm gonna be! Not this year though, it's the BIG 40!!

You sould also amend it to read "weekly visits to the beauty parlor to get short hair permed to oblivion and grey hair tinted purple. Because I can't count the number of grey haired old biddies who have purplish tint in their grey hair!

aimee said...

Yeah, I can't wait how to play... what's that game mom and grandma/grandpa play?... you know, where you "shoot the moon" or something?
Pinochle? Is that how it's spelled??? Well, whatever. One thing I'm looking forward to when I get "old" is the haircuts! I have an excuse as to why my hair is short and nobody will call me gay... just old. Dang it!