Monday, August 22, 2005

My Personal Demons

Well...I faced my demons this morning and I *gasp* looked up my credit report. It wasn't pretty. I did contest a couple things. They're hospital related and insurance was supposed to have paid for them. We'll see what happens.

However, most of the negative marks on my report I totally deserve. It's all about student loans. Bad, bad, bad. I've decided it's time to be a grown up about this. I am, after all, in my 30's now. No more "Hey, I'm in my 20's - I don't have to be responsible" for me. In fact, that's what got me in trouble. grrrr!

Since I'm about to buy a car, I need to know my credit information. I'm like an ostrich with its head stuck in the ground, I'd rather hide or run away from my problems. Tomorrow I go to the bank to resolve some issues. Then, I make some phone calls, specifically to consolidate student loans. Scary, very scary. I expect to get a witch (literally) on the phone who will treat me like the scum I am. I deserve it, but really, I want to work my way out of this personal hell I've created. I'm not sure of the exact total on my loans (they're split within four agencies) but I'd just love to have them all paid off within five years. Wishful thinking, I'm sure, but I'll see what I can do. I think I'll set myself up for a long term plan and pay extra when I can.

*sigh* Someone, pinch me!


Cristina said...

Just a note to let you know that I sympathize about the whole money thing...I too have tried avoiding thinking about it for too long (being that I'm also in my thirties :) and know that I'm old enough to know better!

aimee said...

Let me just say that I had to confront a bill collector once and when she knew I was making an honest effort to pay, she was really, really nice to me. So I hope that gives you a little hope!