The Perfect Recipe
$20 - $50 cash
Begin by giving your boyfriend/husband some money. I recommend $20 to $50, depending on the quality of food you anticipate eating. Next, give him the keys to your car and ask him to go to the store and buy anything he wants. Bat eyelashes and/or feign a headache. Or, in my world, tell him you have a sock to knit and the latest DVD of Little House on the Prairie arrived from Blockbuster.com so you're too busy.
Wait 2.5 hours for boyfriend/husband to shop for meat products (because we all know that's what he's going to get) and to visit with all his friends. He'll probably go to three or four different stores to buy three different items, give a friend a ride somewhere or sit idling while talking to a long lost buddy, so you might want to make sure you have plenty of gas in the car. If you're bored, try calling him a few times on your cell phone but don't expect an answer. The car stereo will be too loud, especially since he probably turns up the base. But if you really want to freak him out, hit redial about fifteen times so when he checks his phone next, he'll see that you blew it up. hehe
Finally, he arrives. By no means, do not stop what you're doing. He'll probably be carrying several bags of food from several different stores. One of them will contain only one can of cat food. He knows what he's doing, just stay out of his way.
Wait another 30 minutes while he cooks up the food, usually adding some hot spices or barbeque sauce. If you're lucky he'll add some macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes or canned green beans. And dinner is served!
I'm telling you girls, this is the best recipe ever. You should try it out!