The Balls go to the Wild Animal Park

It was cloudy Monday morning, but we decided to risk it and go to the Wild Animal Park. The drive didn't take as long this time, probably because we were greatly entertained by The Balls.

As you can see, they were so excited about the road trip that they wanted to sit front and center. No longer were they back seat drivers. Instead, they kept yelling out "Swing left, swing right" in an attempt to get me drive around other cars.

Soon enough, they were jumping up and down trying to look out the sunroof. Here you see them acting silly and going "balls up."

We finally made it to the park and The Balls were VERY interested in the fowl in the pond. We paid for some duck food, threw it down on the ground and watched the ducks and geeze flock to us. Unfortunately, as soon as The Balls made an appearance, feathers and poo went flying. Nobody wanted to hang out with The Balls. They leaned up against the post and swore.

The geese would not stop complaining about The Balls! They kept honking at each other and us. One even grabbed Apollo's pant leg and demanded compensation.

Finally, to appease them for The Balls intrusion, Apollo gave them some food. We tried to do another photo shoot but with all the small children around, we felt uncomfortable unleashing The Balls. You know how crude and improper they can be sometimes.

Walking through the park, The Balls got excited when they saw this sign for "dik dik." They were sorely disappointed when they realized dik dik were not related to their friend, Penis.

Here's a dik dik. They can weigh up to 12 pounds and are about 14 inches at the shoulder, very cute!

Some meerkats writhing around in a big meerkat pile. This is about when The Balls started to sweat, looking at all those furry bodies in the hot sun.

After a short hike, we made it to the elephants and saw two baby elephants. We heard that the youngest one is 6 weeks old but their site seems to have his age at around 6 months.

You see, this is why we don't let The Balls run around unmonitored! They see signs like this and start to make lewd comments and insinuations. *sigh* I assume this comes from hanging out with "bad apples" like Penis. (Or maybe from being bad apples.)

The petting area for kids (can't remember what it's called) had a bunch of deer that were ultra kid friendly. This little girl was really cute but I kept waiting for the deer to head butt her.

I was so distracted by the little girl and the fact that the deer seemed to be missing fur, much like mange, that The Balls escaped. We found them leaning up against another deer. I guess they were bored and tired.

The deer (gazelle?) was not impressed.

He swore at us and we left. There was more to the park but we got bored and The Balls started to stink.

The Balls have some down time

You may have wondered, where are The Balls? What have they been up to these days? Or maybe not.

Last night I got home after dark to discover Big Mac, Apollo, Tee and Rob (from the infamous WWE in the ghetto event) having a party in our parking lot. Since it's birthday month here at the gayto (where the gay hood meets the ghetto) so the guys do a lot of drinking outside with Tee's trunk open and music blaring. Gin and juice, plastic cups, pork rinds and Tabasco sauce were available in large quantities. It was disgusting.There was no escaping them as each of them sauntered up to me in creepy old man fashion and danced little jigs. One of them even danced around me in small circles, something like a Mexican Hat dance. They each demanded my attention and hugs. *shiver* (and yes, I'll be getting back to The Balls in a second here)

All women walking by were subjected to staring and mumbling. One poor old lady, who apparently knew them, overheard a not so quiet comment "She's got bow legs" and turned around to look at them. The comment was made as if it was a good thing. *sigh* I don't want to know, really.

Anyway (I get distracted easily), since I wasn't able to go inside yet due to all the dancing and Tee who wanted to tell me all his woes, I opened the back door of my car to get my jacket and lo...there were The Balls! Still seat belted!!

I had forgotten Apollo belted them in days ago so they would arrive safely to work. Then I realized, they've been strapped into the back seat all this time! At work! At the store! I wonder if people saw them. Anyway, The Balls will be joining the guys for their next gayto birthday soiree. (The idea of the guys using the word soiree is hysterical)

They're still in the car now. I'm sure they're sweating a lot. I may have to sanitize the car seat later.

The Balls go to work!

Today The Balls went to work with me. They attempted to answer some emails but soon gave up when they realized they couldn't type. It seems they're not used to making any sort of effort on their own. They told me they usually just swing around and sweat all day.

After watching me type for a while, The Balls decided it was time for a coffee break. When I took them to the break room, they were amazed at all the choices. They stared up at them in awe.

In fact, they felt so much pressure from having to choose just one flavor of coffee or tea, they started to sweat profusely. It was nasty.

By the time The Balls made a decision, they needed the caffeine and bad. They couldn't wait for the Coffee Ambassador to finish up.

After bathroom breaks, The Balls dutifully de-germed themselves with some germ-X. Considering they did all that sweating, I was happy to see some sort of effort towards cleanliness.

Later that day, The Balls found the copy machine. I knew they were going to start trouble.

Sure enough, they decided to pull an office prank usually left to those who make questionable choices.

Fortunately, I found all the photocopies they made before anyone else did.

While I worked through the rest of the afternoon, they hung around and made comments like, "Why do they ask questions they already know the answers to?" and "Why the F*%& did they buy it if they don't even know how to refresh a page?"

I asked a co-worker if he would pose with The Balls while I took a picture. He laughed (???) and politely declined the offer. WhateverRRRR.

At the end of the day, they were more than happy to nestle into my pink bag next to my knitting and go home. Poor balls, they had a long day.

The Balls go to SeaWorld

The day started out innocently enough with a stop at Chick-Fil-A. The Balls seemed to take the cow face on the cereal box offensively, as seen in their body language.

We decided to go to SeaWorld. SeaWorld always runs a promotion at the beginning of the year where you can buy one ticket and convert it into a Fun Card, good for the entire year. Good thing too cause $56 is WAY too much for one person to spend for a single day at the park! Not to mention the $10 parking fee.

We got in just in time to see one of the killer whale shows. Three of the whales were lined up, ready to start the show. The one the furthest away is the baby born in 2004.

I swear, those balls are nothing but trouble. They kept getting in my way while I was trying to take pictures!

Oh, I forgot to mention that when they first let in the main whale, the baby whale shot in too but then realized it was alone without its mom and panicked. It quickly swam around the entire pool before shooting back through the gate to safety.


The show wasn't the best I've seen, I assume it's because they're training for tourist season. I wonder how deep the pool is? It must be pretty deep for a whale to be able to jump out of the water like this.


After the show ended, we meandered over to the dolphin area. It was feeding time and the dolphins were behaving badly if you didn't have any fish. This dolphin with the banged up fin splashed us several times in frustration when he realized that we didn't have fish.


The dolphins swam around open mouths, waiting for us to drop food into their mouths. I managed to touch them a couple times but when they realized we didn't have any food, they splashed us and swam away.


Ever wonder what the inside of a dolphins mouth looks like?


The penguin display is under construction. So for now, some of the penguins were swimming around outside in a pool. They were so cute! I was a bit surprised, I guess it wasn't too warm for them.


You may be asking, where were The Balls this entire time? They were in hiding! I brought them into the park in my bag, which was searched by an elderly gentleman. I know he saw them, they were hard to miss. He said nothing and kept a straight face. Due to all the little children around us and the constant barrage of other visitors around us, they spent most of their time in Apollo's inside jacket pocket. This may explain why Apollo seemingly offered them up in sacrifice to the sharks in the Shark Encounter. Needless to say, The Balls were not impressed. The sharks, however, were (see how that one sharks mouth is open in anticipation).


The Balls discovered a new meaning to, "Having your balls in a vice" when they checked out this set of Megalodon Shark fossil teeth. Scientists believe this shark reached 45 feet and preyed on whales. Nobody knows why they went extinct - can you imagine the horror of meeting up with this shark while out for a swim?


At the end of the day, The Balls were tired and got a ride on Uncle Apollo's shoulder. Since this was just our first outing with The Balls, we were a bit unprepared for their indecency and the nature of the events we would be attending. Never fear, more public outings are slated!

We have company!

I forgot to tell you guys, The Balls arrived this weekend from Spokane, Washington for a visit in sunny San Diego! Since they've been here I've had to work so they've been hanging around, which they tell me is customary, and sweating a lot. It seems the sweating is due to the warm weather here in So Cal. It took a few days for them to become climatized, but now they're good to go! Though still sweating.


Today is our first day out touristing. Apollo is a little unsure about taking The Balls out in public, but I'm sure we'll all have a good time. I have a feeling I'll be spending more time with them than he will. HEHEHEHE!!