The usual holiday antics begin

Mom just called me from Emeryville, CA. She's currently on an Amtrak train because she mistrusts airplanes and is afraid of the heights. I may have neglected to tell her about all the recent train accidents.

Anyway, so she's in Emeryville and her voice sounds scratchy from lack of sleep - I can imagine her eyes are pretty big too from all the staring at people around her. She tells me a story about some crazy lady at one of the train stops. (There's always at least one crazy person on the train when she travels. One day she'll be the crazy lady everyone talks about.) Our conversation goes something like this:

Me: So your train is on time?
Mom: Yes, we were almost late but right now we're stopped at Emeryville...oh can you hear the guy on the loudspeaker?
Guy on loudspeaker: Next stop, Oakland. Please have your tickets and ID out.
Me: Yep, he said something about Oakland and to have your tickets and ID ready.
Mom: Did you hear? He said our next stop is Oakland and to have our tickets and ID out.
Me: .
Mom: Rayleen?? RAYLEEN!?
Me: I'm here, Mom.
Mom: Well I think I'm going to go since I'm losing you, I didn't hear what you said at all. I'm going to turn this thing off since the only charger I have is the one for the car and I don't have the type you plug into your house.
Me: Well, you can check the battery if you want and see how much power you have.
Mom: And plus when it rings, it wakes everyone up around me and I can't get it out in time to turn it off.
Me: You know you can turn down the volume.
Mom: And it's so loud....hey the chicken coop is finally done! Except I don't have any chickens.
Me: Mom, have you tried turning down the volume?
Mom: What? How do you do that?

And so on. Oh, it's going to be a fun week! I'll update you on my sanity as the week progresses.